'We've all reached nirvana' ~ Life Stylzz

Do you endorse the brand of yoga being promoted by American Tara Stiles - described as "Rebel Yoga" - who says she does not follow any rules, but teaches yoga that's free of any spiritual undertones or overtones? I thought yoga promoted holistic living that included cultivating a spiritual and inclusive perspective?

Sarah Jacob, Mumbai
I took on Tara Stiles as my personal yoga teacher as I wanted to focus on my physical training. I did not want the broader metaphysical and philosophical teachings as I have already immersed myself in them for the last 30 years. Yoga is a very wide field; it is more so in the US where people come to it for different reasons. Tara Stiles combined many teachings and is very appropriate for those who are still tentative about the spiritual overtones that they may not be willing to embrace seeing them as foreign.

I found Tara to be unpretentious. She does not have the patronising and "holier than thou" attitude that some yoga teachers have adopted in America. In fact, I have now partnered with her to expand the teaching of yoga where she can focus on the physical aspects and I can focus on the other aspects of the eight limbs of yoga.

What happens when one achieves nirvana, the state of enlightenment? Have you attained nirvana? Also, are there different kinds of nirvana or is it just one of a kind?

Meenakshi, Dehradun
I'm happy to report that we have all reached nirvana, the Buddhist term for pure consciousness. Pure consciousness is our source; it is present with us every second of our lives. But we have not established ourselves in this silent state. It appears fleetingly in the gap between thoughts. By diving into the gap, the mind can transcend thought to experience pure consciousness itself. When this is done regularly, a new state emerges, in which you can think and feel while still maintaining pure consciousness. This is the aim of meditation and it leads to real transcendence.

The transformation of the everyday self into the true self depends on becoming aware of transcendent reality in the midst of everyday activity. In that sense, yes, there is only one nirvana, but the path that unfolds it has different aspects for each seeker.

Do you feel guilty that you are not practising medicine, for which you have received training and which is meant to heal the sick?

Sulekha Sekhri, Delhi
I don't practise medicine full time, but my training gets applied quite often. For me, the turning point came 25 years ago, when I realised that consciousness is the primary agent of healing. This was a liberating realisation, and it led me to focus on change through higher awareness. Nothing is more powerful in healing than this. So my current approach is to expand people's awareness first and foremost. Yet if there's a need for medical attention, I make sure that it is attended to - all healing approaches are valid and useful.

Having said that, I am a standing fellow of the American College of Physicians, Internal Medicine, and a member of the American Medical Association. I continue to maintain my licenses to practice in Massachusetts and California, so I can continue to see patients when I am in California if necessary along with my colleagues.

I am 21 years old and live with my parents. I am a post-graduate student of Economics, completing the first year of a two-year course. I now feel the urge to switch to studying Fine Arts as I feel it is an opportunity for creative expression. But my parents want me to complete my MA degree before doing any such thing. I am confused. What should I do?

Pradeep Sharma, Ghaziabad
Apply self-awareness. You are at a new stage of maturity. It is fairly standard among psychologists to call this "the phase of identity crisis". Adulthood is opening up rapidly; new understanding about who you are, and possibilities of what you want to do flood the mind. As part of this stage, it is quite natural for you to feel uncertain as well as somewhat overwhelmed. Old familiar habits, such as listening to parents, no longer seem so certain.

If you reflect upon this transition phase, I believe you can balance your life in such a way that inner change occurs without turning your existence upside down. You can complete your MA while pursuing Fine Arts part time, to see if your inclination is solid and realistic. Make sure you are not being overwhelmed by the responsibility of coming to the end of your education, and having to enter the real world. Feelings of insecurity and panic often lead people of your age to become a perpetual student - it's so much safer to remain in the womb of the university. I hope these considerations help. Once you are more aware, you will be able to decide what is right for you.

I love my wife and I do care for her, but sometimes I feel like just going away to the mountains, and be by myself. We don't have children. At 50, would you put down this feeling to midlife crisis? I don't feel interested in meeting friends; I mostly wish to be quiet and just do my own thing. But then my wife says she feels shut out. Please help.

V Tripathi, Agra
Yes, this sounds like midlife crisis, but knowing the term doesn't bring the solution. What is such a crisis really about? In the natural arc of a lifetime, we set goals that get fulfilled, and when they are done, it is time to move on. Most people set major goals for family and career in their 20s, and by age 50, they have arrived at some sort of fulfilment. They know how to handle their work, they have raised a family, the terms of their marriage are well-known to both partners - all of this leads to a transition phase, which is the midlife crisis. The mind is no longer satisfied even with the good things that have been achieved. Moreover, it is fed up with the bad things, whatever feels stale and old.

So you reach a fork in the road. Either your achievements will serve as the platform for a new phase of life that is equally challenging and vital as the one coming to an end, or you will surrender to habit and inertia. One fork is very positive; it allows you to continue to evolve and grow. The other fork leads to a slow decline and ultimately self-defeat.

Your letter doesn't really tell me which fork you are tending to take, but I fear it is the one of inertia because there is a tone of "leave me alone. I'm not interested anymore". That's not a good sign. It can also be a symptom of crisis, a kind of avoidance because change is too threatening. Let's accept the best interpretation, that you are stuck for the moment because you have not seen a new way forward. To get past your listlessness, certain things are necessary:

1. Reject the repetition of your old life.
2. Look for a new way forward.
3. Try to find goals and opportunities that lie unfulfilled - these are the seeds of the future.
4. Cast your eyes around and look for allies in your quest for change.
5. Make your uncertainty known to your wife so that she can help you explore a new future - this is a shared journey.

If you can follow these guidelines, you can successfully navigate through the midlife crisis. It's an emotional time, and I know that you don't find it a welcome prospect to have to revisit old feelings that you hoped were long buried and forgotten. They haven't been. The way forward is to look at yourself as a fluid personality with new potentials to unfold. Your challenge is to find that potential and make the best use of it. Start right now.