The fade away breakup syndrome ~ Life Stylzz

Arushi and her husband Amar were the couple that everyone envied. A whirlwind dating period that lasted five years, followed by an idyllic wedding, the couple seemed to have all the pieces of the puzzle in the right place.

So, when the word got around that they were getting divorced, their friends were naturally shocked. Upon further probing, the couple reluctantly revealed that they were just not up to staying together anymore. They were fading away.

Arushi and Amar are not the only ones. A lot of couples these days are falling prey to the 'fade away break-up syndrome', which dating experts are calling the safest break-up strategy! Typically, a fade away break-up happens when one or both parties in a relationship stop responding to each other in due course. And contrary to popular belief, this sort of break-up is not confined to short-term relationships — it can happen to couples who have been going out for a significant number of years too!

For Mahati N, a software professional, a fade away break-up is not a new concept. "I didn't know it was called that back then, but this is exactly how my first relationship ended," she reveals. "Nishith and I were going steady, at least in my opinion, until eventually one day, the calls stopped. After a lot of pain, I came to accept the fact that it was over," she wistfully adds.

Talking about fade away break-ups and relationship woes, in general, Dev Sharma, a media professional, has some interesting insights to offer. "Relationships fade because people don't want to work hard on anything these days or be responsible for anything that's failed. You meet someone, hang out a couple of times, text each other — that's what it takes to begin a relationship. But preserving it is not as easy. Not talking about the way you feel is the easiest escape."

Deepthi Nair, a copywriter, agrees. "I think it is a good way to break up," she says, "But then, I think it has to be mutual between the partners. Otherwise, just disappearing can be disconcerting. Breaking up can be devastating and especially in long-term relationships, a fade away can make it seem less painful."

However Poornima Murali, a communication graduate, chooses to take a more optimistic approach. "Of course, it is easy for two people to eventually drift apart, for any number of reasons. However, if both the people in the relationship are committed and they want it to work, then they can make it happen, no matter what the circumstance is," says she.

Communication is the key to a successful relationship. "It is very important to communicate, especially to dilute differences," says Dr Prabhakaran, a marriage therapist and psychologist. "A couple should ideally communicate for at least 30 minutes a day — not to blame each other, but to find a solution to their problems," he advises.