Guide for parents desperate to raise teens without tears ~ Life Stylzz

Guide for parents desperate to raise teens without tears

19:02

TEENAGE girls lie, manipulate and swerve from the truth to get what they want but parents need to look below the surface to understand their daughters.

A guide for mums and dads on the secret life of young girls also warns that the internet has made pack bullying easier and says teenagers are masters at covering their tracks.

Girls are routinely exposed to sexually explicit conversations and imagery among their peers and are sometimes asked by boys to email semi-naked photos of themselves.

Girls are also watching how mothers judge body image, such as whether mums accept what they see in the mirror.

Teens don't assess risks like adults and their impulse control is "terrible", says author of What teenage girls don't tell their parents Michelle Mitchell.

"It's not that I'm suggesting that every teenager is a bad egg who is constantly up to no good," Ms Mitchell, a teen counsellor, writes. "Teenagers don't have to be bad kids to get into serious trouble."

Ms Mitchell was a teacher before starting Youth Excel, a charity which aims to help families with their teens.

Her work has given her an insight into what kids keep to themselves and she says her book aims to give parents the confidence to soldier on.

Parents need to look past the crazy hair, piercings and "I hate yous" because behind teen rebellion is a child looking for guidance and support.

"Parents come undone with what's going on with their teenager, but look at what's within," she said. "Don't worry about the earrings and the attitude, there's more to them under the surface."

One of the top conflict zones between the two was trust and rules the perceived lack of one and the over-abundance of the other.

"But you talk to the girls and most of them will admit 'no, I wouldn't trust me'," she said.

Saying "no" was a powerful tool, even if it was just because parents were uncomfortable with a situation such as a sleep over with no parental supervision. Making rules was about protection and love, not creating a totalitarian regime.